My best guy-friend recently met a new lady, someone he likes a lot and has high hopes for. He tells me she’s everything he’s every wanted: smart, stunning, has a clean-heart, funny and great conversationalist. He’s taken by her, that’s clear.They’ve been only going on dates, casual hangouts, and sharing long conversations over text and on the phone.I asked him if they’ve kissed yet? I was shocked when he said “No.”He’s been taking it slow. So slow that my usual charming-smooth-operator-of-a-friend has avoided any intimate sexual contact, including sex with the worry that he may have “performance anxiety.”“I really like her and I want this to work. I can F*** just about anyone who has a vagina, but this one, I don’t want to just get it over with – I want to make love to her,” he revealed. “What if I mess up, and I can’t get it up?!”5 Tips to Cure Performance Anxiety
1. Can’t keep it hard for long? Relax: Don’t make it seem more intimidating than it really is. If you’ve had sex before, and you didn’t suck then, you probably won’t now. Don’t psych yourself out. Breathing exercising and perhaps meditation, will help you.
2. Small penis? Use foreplay: If you fall short of 6.5 inches when erect, the average penis length, don’t feel ashamed. Yes we know, you’re nervous about your lady seeing your penis for the first time, but in fact, many women don’t believe that size matters – they believe foreplay matters. Let your hands, tongue and other sensory parts guide you…touch parts of her body that maybe usually neglected…
3. Can’t finish a “marathon?” Eat properly: Like preparing for a marathon, store up on carbohydrate meals ahead of the big day. Pastas, rice and even ugali can help ensure you won’t be exhausted during intensive physical activity…maybe it’ll get hot and raunchy – you never know. It’s always best to have a reserve fuel tank to ensure you can go the extra mile *wink*
4. Worried about premature ejaculation? Avoid over stimulation: You’ve wanted her for so long, and now the moment has come, literally – you could probably just last a few minutes only. Avoid the urge, and stay away from constant stimulation of your most sensitive parts. Switch positions and practice “stop and go” and tease your partner.
5. Don’t blame yourself if she doesn’t orgasm: There’s already a lot of pressure to make a women orgasm…it’s like it’s all on the man, when in fact, the orgasm comes from her brain. Shouldn’t she also have a role when she doesn’t “get it?” What if your partner has never experienced an orgasm? How would she know? Don’t put unnecessary pressure on yourself when it’s not all if your fault. You’re not a failure, and don’t psych yourself out for round 2. Have confidence in yourself….but don’t be arrogant. Just keep it real.
2. Small penis? Use foreplay: If you fall short of 6.5 inches when erect, the average penis length, don’t feel ashamed. Yes we know, you’re nervous about your lady seeing your penis for the first time, but in fact, many women don’t believe that size matters – they believe foreplay matters. Let your hands, tongue and other sensory parts guide you…touch parts of her body that maybe usually neglected…
3. Can’t finish a “marathon?” Eat properly: Like preparing for a marathon, store up on carbohydrate meals ahead of the big day. Pastas, rice and even ugali can help ensure you won’t be exhausted during intensive physical activity…maybe it’ll get hot and raunchy – you never know. It’s always best to have a reserve fuel tank to ensure you can go the extra mile *wink*
4. Worried about premature ejaculation? Avoid over stimulation: You’ve wanted her for so long, and now the moment has come, literally – you could probably just last a few minutes only. Avoid the urge, and stay away from constant stimulation of your most sensitive parts. Switch positions and practice “stop and go” and tease your partner.
5. Don’t blame yourself if she doesn’t orgasm: There’s already a lot of pressure to make a women orgasm…it’s like it’s all on the man, when in fact, the orgasm comes from her brain. Shouldn’t she also have a role when she doesn’t “get it?” What if your partner has never experienced an orgasm? How would she know? Don’t put unnecessary pressure on yourself when it’s not all if your fault. You’re not a failure, and don’t psych yourself out for round 2. Have confidence in yourself….but don’t be arrogant. Just keep it real.